How to Drive People Insane

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars

   to see if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

3) Insist that your e mail address be:

   'xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com' or

   'Elvis-the-king@companyname.com'

4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with

   that.

5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronised chair

   dancing.

6) Put your waste bin on your desk and label it 'IN.' (This is a 'must do')

7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over

   their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

9) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

10) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

11) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the

    entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

12) Dont use any punctuation

13) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

14) Ask people what gender they are.

15) Specify that your drive through order is "to go."

16) Sing along at the opera.

17) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

18) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them

    one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is

    the opposite gender.)

19) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For

    example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

20) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

21) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party 'cause

    you're not in the mood'.